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[, 2012] Likability Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows. Just a pussy, runny, smokin’, stinkin’ piece of litter.I don’t watch people ’cause I like them; I watch them because they’re compelling. [, 2010] Littering One time, I threw a candy wrapper on the street … [, 2011] Masturbation I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know?
First of all, if you’re single, your life has no consequence on the earth. Your mother will cry or whatever, but otherwise, nobody gives a shit. You , 2011] TV There’s a huge amount of work that goes into placating a network in regular television.[, 2006] Jobs The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access TV station.As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself. Next to Mexico City, [it’s] the shittiest piece of litter in the world.There are way more dead people, and you’re all gonna die and then you’re gonna be dead for way longer than you’re alive. We tell our children, “You can do anything you want.” Their whole lives. ” But this place, we take kids – they’re 15, they’re young – and we tell them, “You can do eight things. [, 2007] History It’s been a very old thing for people to gather together and laugh at stuff.We got it down to eight for you.” [, 2006] I had to be the head of the household really for the first time and say okay, I have to actually make a rule that we’re going to live by here. The first comedian in America really was Abraham Lincoln …If you let people down, that’s really hard to come back from– harder than climbing from nothing to something, even. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce … If two people were married and they were really and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. [, 2011] Education I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school …
[, 2010] Death Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. Technical high school, that’s where dreams are narrowed down. I have a feeling dead people get really mad when we complain about losing hair.
And I decided what it was is that the family comes over the work always. Because I wanted them to have a feeling like they could count on me like I was really there, I wasn’t just visiting. He used to go to a pub near where he lived and stand in front of the fire and he packed the place every night and he would just talk and bust everybody in their guts.
I didn’t want one of these moments like, “Jeez, honey, I’m sorry I’m not going to see you this week or this month or whatever because I’m going to LA.” I got some offers early that go out to LA and do parts on sitcoms and I said no, because it meant going and being away for a month. He was just a hilarious speaker and that’s what he did.
Even if you’re helping people aggressively, which you’re fucking not, nobody gives a shit what happens to you. It’s literally 70% or 80% of your workload, is showing them the material, getting their notes and presenting it to them and making sure they weigh in. [ was such a smart show, and it was for the Mensa set. I had a great writing staff on , 2010] Sometimes I just want to tell a story regardless of whether it fits what the show is saying.
And he gave an example, where he quoted some line about a woman that Frasier thinks is very mean and he says, “Her idea of tough love is the Spanish Inquisition.” And they thought that was very smart—just because he mentioned something from history. I’ve been in a lot of writing rooms where somebody says an idea and everyone’s dying, like laughing so they’re delirious.
We haven’t been called on to do anything but buy shit and get fat. Bill Cosby, George Carlin and Richard Pryor are my favorite stand-ups.